Driven
by MouseHamptonGray
Summary: Ana and Christian have been married for 20 years, overcoming many set backs. With their four children growing up and making careers and names for themselves, the threats heighten as the pop culture eye settles on the Grey clan. Love, loss and pain but like always they will survive. ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO E L JAMES.
1. Chapter 1

APOV

He's painfully close to pulling out his copper locks, and while I normally would find this distressing today it is rather hilarious. We have four kids, the three oldest now officially can drive themselves anywhere they want, and today we're picking out a car for Spencer, for when she moves to LA in the fall.

"Why can't she want something less fast," Christian bites out.

I laugh and cup his cheek so we can look at each other, he's taking this much harder than he did when we got Blake his, and Blake got a Spyder. Sure Rey wants a Porsche, but that is her choice and Christian said anything.

"Christian, if you're upset over this you need to make better word choices. You told her that she could have anything she wanted," I giggle.

"You're going to regret that comment, Mrs. Grey," He smirks.

Spencer walks over with Taylor and the dealer, a huge smile spread across her face and I hope to God that Christian does not take that spirit away from her. I drop my hand from Christian and track down my other two children who are here. I don't need to go over any of the specifications that they will be making before she physically has the car.

Noah is examining the new Cayman S that they have here, he will get the car of his choice next year when he graduates. Two baby's down and two more to go, time really has flown the last twenty years. Our anniversary is in six months, twenty years with Christian.

I sneak up behind Luke, guarding the main entrance after we closed the place down for the afternoon. Christian and his security, it will never change.

"Where's Clarke?" I ask.

"Pouting in the break room, and just so you know, paparazzi are piling up across the street," He answers.

I walk towards the break room, waving as I pass by the wall of windows. I don't encourage the paparazzi but I do my best not to give them something bad to use. Smile and wave, and keep on waling so I don't have to answer their stupid questions.

My youngest is sitting on the couch, clutching her Zoe Sugg book, with tears running down her cheeks. Her big blue eyes peek up to meet mine and she reaches out. I sit down by her and tug her into my lap, the only baby I can hold and cradle in my arms still.

"What's wrong, honey," I coo.

"Spencer's getting a car!" She whines.

"I know, and when you're her age you'll get one too."

"But that means she can leave. She's my best friend!"

"Clarke, baby, she is here till September and it's December, and even when she does move away that does not stop you from visiting her or her coming home."

"But I don't want her to go!"

Neither does your father, and I don't either, but we had to face this two years ago with Blake and now we are facing this again. I know my daughters are close, and it's heart wrenching to see her have this big of reaction to Spence leaving for college in nine months.

"UCLA is a quick three hour flight, it's not like flying out to see Blake. I promise that you will not lose your best friend, and that Spencer will always be there for you and love you. She will be living in our house there so you already have a room. Spencer loves you, Clarke."

"But it still changes everything," She pouts.

"I know."

"And then next year Noah leaves too."

"Yes he does."

"Then I'm alone."

"No, you still have Daddy, and Luke, and Jason, and Gail, and I think I'm missing someone," I smile.

"You. I got you," She giggles.

"Exactly, so how about we go join everyone and then have dinner because you and I have a trip in the middle of the night to make."

"We do?"

"Yeah, because someone has to pick up Blake from the airport."

"He's coming home today!"

She bolts out of my arms and the room, I collect her fallen book and fallow her out. Luke and Jason are gathering the kids by the front door, Christian is wrapping up with the dealership, and now we can go. Thankfully with only three kids we can all sit in the Cadillac Sudan, no need for multiple cars. We pull out, passing that paparazzi who try their best at getting shots of us.

Once home everyone disperses, I follow Christian to his office seeing as he has been unnaturally quiet. I think getting his oldest daughter a car is effecting him more than I thought it would. It gets to me every time because they are all my babies but it's his little girl, and she could have died years ago.

"Christian?" I hesitate closing the door, but don't want the kids to hear us.

"I just bought our daughter a two-hundred-thousand dollar car," He says.

"Yes you did."

"She's happy."

"She is."

"I keep looking at her today and keep seeing that little girl who got shot because of me."

"Not because of you."

"It was my office, Anastasia!"

I flinch at his voice, he's going for his gin and I have no means of stopping him. Whenever these events get brought up for him he has to start seeing Flynn again because I know that I can't help him. Not with this.

"I'm going to call Flynn, have him drop by," I sigh.

"I don't need fucking Flynn, Spencer just needs to stay here and go to state," He growls.

"Christian, be reasonable."

"Reasonable? I just got her a car!"

"And if you didn't I would have, but that is not what your fit is about. Ten years ago you and your company was victim to a mass shooting. Your daughter got shot. You got shot. You are both alive and healthy and there is nothing you can change. We love our kids Christian, but we need to support them as much as we protect them."

"Are you done?"

"No." I take a breath. "Clarke and I are picking Blake up from the airport tonight. I will drive my car and security can follow. You will stay here with Spencer and Noah."

"Like hell I will. You're not going out on your own with _MY_ daughter."

"I am going to pretend you did not just say that."

I turn to leave, but he stops me, pins me agains the wall.

"You don't walk away from me."

"I do when you're getting drunk, and sinking down into your dark place. I might take the kids for dinner, seeing as you're drinking yours."

He lets go and I stomp off to collect our offspring. Foregoing searching the property I call them over the intercom and wait for their arrival in the living room. There is no argument when I offer up a drive to our favourite pizza place. When we get there and lead to a table I text Flynn to get to Christian ASAP. He has meltdowns when I walk out with the kids after a fight, even if it is only for a couple of hours and to get the kids away from the hostility.

"Do you know what your second semester schedules look like yet?" I ask.

"I have Calculus II, Biology, Art History and Economics which are all AP, and am trying to balance out my teams and clubs," Spencer answers. "Academic decathlon, dance, music, theatre, and the job I got at the bakery by Gran and Gramps house."

"What about us time?" Clarke frowns.

"I've made sure that we still have Sister Sunday, and we can study together Blue. Get you into a good habit early," Spencer smiles, using her nickname for her baby sister.

"I have Trig I, Chemistry, Gym, English and European History," Noah groans. "I am going to try for track and field, and have hockey until march."

"I still have everything," Clarke shrugs.

I smile at them as we all order, I also ask the server to send a meat lovers to the security out in the car. God, if only Christian and Blake were here it would be like old times.


	2. Chapter 2

CPOV

Ana ran off with the kids an hour ago, they're out having fun while I'm home all fucked up. I want to go to them, they're mine. My wife. My son. My daughters. They're already all over the internet and they look like they're having fucking fun without me.

I stumble out of my office, stubbing my tow on the corner of the fucking door. Stupid door. Should know to get out of the way. I am the king of this here castle.

"Christian, I go to say, it has been a while since I have seen you plastered over something," John teases me. What the fuck is he doing here? I told Ana no. "Let's go sit down somewhere before you tip over."

"I don't want to sit and talk John. I told Anastasia, no!"

"Well, I am happy she texted me then. What's wrong Christian?"

"Spencer."

"She's seventeen now, yeah? What's up with her that has you like this?"

"I could have killed her years ago and I spent a fucking fortune John, a fortune on a fucking car that goes so fucking fast."

"What happened was not your fault."

Not my fault? Is that what everyone still freaking believes? It was my company, my building, my employee. It's my fault that shit-head fucking lost it, that thirty people lost their fucking lives. I relive that day again and again and again. I just have to look at Spencer, and I know I need to make her happy, but then I see the fear that was so present that day.

"She was with me at work John, she asked if she could come in for a day and I thought it was a good idea. What could possibly go wrong?" I spit. "I was in the conference room in a meeting when it started, Spencer was making rounds downstairs with Ros, and I couldn't protect her. Taylor got her to my office, and I told her to stay in my private bathroom no matter what. Not to come out until I come for her or Ana. She didn't listen John, she is so much like Anastasia and she didn't listen."

"She was six. She was scared."

"I can't protect her if she has her own car and she can go out when she wants."

"You're scared she won't listen to rules, that she will get hurt again?"

"John, she's my kid. Of course she won't listen to the rules."

I want more alcohol, to feel the burn as it runs down my throat and the warmth as it settles in my stomach. It's not the answer but it's in the now.

"How did you react after you got back from the dealership?"

"I started to drink."

"It's a common thing, you can't control or protect your kids and you drink," John states. "But you're not protecting them from you. When you're drunk you can't control yourself and then Ana takes the kids away. It was a one time thing, there have been no security issues since."

"Fuck! I scare them? I scare Ana?"

"I can't answer that, but I would assume so."

I close my eyes and breathe. I close my eyes and see Spencer run out of my bathroom, allowing that fucker to turn and shoot at her. Sure he was apprehended and is on death row but that was my daughter and I am supposed to protect her. Not set her up to get shot.

"I am going to make your house an alcohol free place, this will be to benefit you and everyone living here. I also want to start weekly meetings Christian. These thoughts and feelings have gotten out of control and I think that they need to be reigned in," John explains. "As a point towards your kids, give them rules and trust them, and if they break that trust then you use simple punishments and make sure they understand the consequences. I also think that you should take Spencer and Clarke to your office for a day. I know you don't take family there but it may help you."

I just nod and watch him leave, he's so certain that the past can be healed over this time but my daughter has scars and I should have been there to not let it happen. Blake will be here in the morning, his room is ready and we have rid the house of peanuts for his return. It will be good to see how he has grown and I know Noah is hyped up to not be the middle kid and only boy for a couple weeks. I'll take them all to work and then I know that Blake and Noah will look after Spencer and Clarke if anything were to happen like last time. Clarke wasn't even born yet when all this shit happened.

Gail walks to me on the house line, "Your Mother is on the line,"

"Thanks Gail," I take the phone. "Hi Mom."

"Hey, your father and I were wondering if you all would be up to coming to dinner tomorrow. I know Blake will be back in town," Grace's calm voice radiates out.

"Uh… um, yeah sure Mom. I'll check with everyone when they get back."

"Are you alright, Christian?"

"I bought and ordered Spencer's car today."

"Ah, well she will do great. She is an amazing driver and if we could trust you and Elliot in our vehicles you should easily trust her."

"It's not just that."

"I know, well I am going to go. I'll expect you all tomorrow at five."

"Bye Mom."

"Goodnight Christian."

I walk over to the kitchen and leave the phone for Gail to put back. I wander through the silent house to each of my kids rooms. Turning down each of their beds and looking at how they have 'decorated' their walls. Noah is far too in to gaming and shit for my liking, I mean the kid has all the different consoles in his room and with posters for all the games scattering the walls. Spencer's in clean, crisp and organized while she aims for her goals. Her walls, thankfully, are not covered in posters because the wallpaper she wanted was custom and expensive. Across the hall is Clarke's room, her room still young and childish but she is my baby. I don't want this room to change until she is as old as her sister.

"Daddy? What are you doing?" Clarke asks.

I turn to look at her and sit on her bed, patting it so she comes to sit by me.

"Do you like your room, C?" I ask.

"I like it's next to Spencer, but I'm not a little kid anymore and I don't like pink or dolls."

"So you want to change it?"

"I've wanted to change it since I was eight, almost two years ago!" She rolls her eyes. "Mom wants me to tell you we have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

"Yep!"

"Can you tell me what it is?"

"No! Then it wouldn't be a surprise! Come on, it's a good one!"

I flip her onto my back and carry her down to the casual dining room where Anastasia and Spencer and sitting on the table, blocking whatever is behind them. They look at each other and then slide off the table. Behind then is a large chocolate cake with blue icing saying 'LOOK BEHIND YOU', so I turn around and nothing is there which makes Clarke laugh and nearly fall. I turn back and Blake is there smirking.

"He dad," He laughs. "Dude, you should see your face!"

Clarke slides off and dives at her brother, Ana wraps her arms around my waist.

"Good surprise?" She asks.

"Two things. How did you organize flights without my knowledge and why have me look behind me if there wasn't going to be anything there," I pout.

"Cause it was funny," She giggles. "How was your talk with Flynn?"

"Frustrating, just as it always has been."

"It's because you're too stubborn."

"Can we have cake now?" Blake asks.

"Of course!" I smile.

I let Ana go and help cut and serve, Spence is off to the side smiling but it's clear that she is upset. She's as good at hiding it as her mother is, which is not at all.

"You okay?" I ask.

"You don't want me to drive," She sighs.

"It's not that Spencer."

"Right, well, you keep lying and I will go hang with Blake."

"Spencer Faith, wait a minute. It's not the car it's the driving and you out alone."

"Alone? We're never alone, we have multiple security on us all the time. I get you're freaked about what happened and it does effect me now and again but I was a kid and you can't live like you're all messed up when you can't control it."

"How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Know me."

"Because I've known you 100% of my life."


	3. Chapter 3

APOV

"I want it now, Blake!" Clarke whines.

"Wait till dinner, you'll get your gift then along with everyone else," Blake swings his sister about, nearly giving me a heart attack when he almost drops her on her head. "God, stop squirming."

"No. I don't want to wait any longer."

We let ourselves in to Grey Manor, discarding our coats on the chaise in the hall. Getting everyone here was too big of challenge tonight, they all kept distracting each other and we're nearly a half hour later. Taylor sets the duffle that Blake insisted in bringing here by the door, catching Clarke's eye.

"Grandma! Is dinner ready yet? Blake won't give me my present!" Clarke runs off.

Christian engulfs me in his arms, nuzzling my neck with his scruff. He should have shaved before we left.

"I love you Mrs. Grey," He smiles into my neck.

"I love you too, Mr. Grey, and we're all going to be okay," I console my poor lost boy.

"Seeing as Blake is back, how do you feel about a weekend at the penthouse? You an me with no rugrats to look after?"

"I will take your offer into consideration, but christmas is Tuesday and we should spend a lot of time with everyone before our Florida trip," I smile.

This time next week we will be in Orlando with all the Grey's, enjoying the sun and some normal family time and Walt Disney World Resort. We decided on a gift for everyone rather than smaller wrapped gifts, even though we have gone overboard for our children again. I don't think we could hold back getting things for our kids even if we tried, but we wouldn't want it any other way. Our family, we always knew it was going to be like living in Oklahoma with some new disaster coming at any time.

We walk into the formal lounge to see Clarke being spun upside down by Elliot while she laughs her heart out, Noah has vanished, Spencer is reading some textbook in the corner, and Blake is in an animated conversation with Grace and Carrick.

"If you drop my kid El, I will drop you," Christian grumbles.

"Ah, family time," Kate laughs. "And I thought there were only seven children here, not nine."

"Where are yours Kate?" I plop down next to her.

"Ava's on the phone with her boyfriend out back, Jacob is up in Elliot's old room in a mood, and Eden is in this house probably looking for presents."

"Ava has a boyfriend?"

"Yes, and she is having a hard time being home for the holidays. Elliot doesn't know yet, so I promised that you and I would protect her from her father."

"But she has had boyfriends before."

"Yes, but they were here where Elliot could keep and eye and ear out. You'll understand in September when Spencer is off at school."

"He's having a hard enough time with her officially having a car of her own come the new year," I sigh.

"Is it that bad?'

One look and we are heading out to the backyard to find Ava and talk about the worldly issues. Ava's out on the dock, so we perch ourselves on the loungers.

"So, the car thing?" Kate asks.

"It's brought up a lot from the past for him, and the drinking started again."

"He needs to get over the shooting, Ana. It's going to hold everyone back."

"I know, but it's not just that. There was the shooting with Spencer, Blake's mission trip to Chile, Noah's school trip in Missouri, Blake's friend vacation last year to Thailand; all those situations where he was not there or in control and one of our kids could have died."

"And all things that did not just effect your family or others. Does he realize that your kids are not targets for everyone on the planet?"

"I know, but it's Christian."

"I get it." Kate looks out at her daughter. "Ava, babe, wrap it up! We need to talk!"

It's a couple minutes of silence as we wait for Ava to hang up and run up to the two of us. We hang push three loungers together and pull Ava down between us. She is literally Kate's clone, looking just as Kate did when I met her freshman year.

"Hey Auntie," Ava kisses my cheek.

"Hey missy, so what does this boyfriend look like?" I smirk.

Bringing up a picture on the phone of the two of them together reminds me of Kate and Elliot and Christian and myself in the starting months of our relationships.

"His name is Peyton and he is in the bio-medical engineering program with my roommate, she introduced us. We've been dating since I moved there in August, end of August. He's the best, and he was going to come out to meet everyone but decided to stay at school because he knew I needed to break it to my parents."

"Why doesn't he go home?" Kate asks.

"He doesn't have one. He grew up in foster care, he's at Penn state on scholarships."

"I have so much more respect for this kid," Kate mutters.

"How old is he? What year is he in?" I ask.

"He's twenty one and in his last year, but he doesn't buy me alcohol. He doesn't even drink, I swear Auntie."

"What is he doing after he graduates?"

"He has a job lined up in New York, everything is organized and he's interned for the company since his first year at school. He's a good person, and you need to help me with Dad and Uncle Christian."

"I promise we will help your idiot father and brother," Kate says. "You won't have to break up, but I'm flying you home myself so I can meet him."

"Oh, I'm coming too," I wave my hand.

"Deal!"Ava laughs.

Grace walks out back, calling us in to dinner. We all find places, another year with us missing Mia and the gang won't be with us for christmas. It effects everyone here more then they would life to admit. Clarke is on one side of me, Ava on the other, and Christian by his mother. Everything with dinner is good, even with Clarke's constant pestering about presents. Christmas is so soon and she knows better, but she also has issues with emotions and dealign with them like Christian, so I believe that this is just her showing her love that Blake is home.

"It's not like your christmas gift, C. It's just something from school," Blake sighs.

"But you got something for me, specifically for me Blake!" Clarke tears up then bolts.

We all set utensils down and look around.

"You go or I go?" Christian asks me.

"I'll go, I know what's bugging her," Spencer volunteers.

With our daughters gone, and the rest of us confused, dinner is cleared and dessert is brought out. At least we know that our kids will always have each other, their cousins and whole family to lean on when things get though. Whenever anything has happened they have always had someone to hold them up, nothing bad will happen to them like Christian thinks. Not any of them will have anything like Elena or drugs or abuse in their lives. We know how to protect them but it doesn't mean we understand them. I want to understand them, maybe it is time to quit and spend more time with them. I don't need to work, my oldest daughter moves away in a few months and maybe they need this from me.


	4. Chapter 4

CPOV

Everyone finishes eating their dessert's before we see Spencer and Clarke again, both calm down but lour their brothers into the kitchen for another talk. This dinner feels like forever when neither Anastasia or I are drinking and I can tell that everyone finds it odd.

"Christian have you hear from Mia at all lately?" Mom asks.

"Yeah, I have," I smirk.

"Okay, and how is she? It feels like weeks since we have talked to her or her kids."

"She's good Mom, just busy. They are all very busy out there, but I bet you will see them sooner than you think."

I want to laugh so hard, knowing that they will be at the house that we rented for our family Disney trip. Nobody knows and Mia and I agreed that she is not allowed to talk to anyone until she sees us in Florida. She will only be there for a week compared to our two weeks but it is something and it will be a time that we will hold close to ourselves. It's hard knowing that where she is that at any moment a bomb could come crashing down and she could die, and no matter how much we talk about her coming home she always stays.

"We want to suggest something," Blake announces upon return.

"Okay, and your proposal is?" I ask.

"A cousin and sibling bonding trip to the Brookings house for the weekend, us four and Ava, Jonah and Eden too. We'll take security, and Ava and myself are old enough to take care of everyone. I think it will be good to do before Christmas next week."

"Well, how about we discuss it and get back to you by the time we leave tonight?"

"Sounds good."

By the end of night we all have leather, customized journals with our names and the year from the University, and agreed that tomorrow morning the kids will all drive down and security will meet them at the house. This is good, that means that come tomorrow, Ana and I get a weekend at Escala.

"You're thinking about something," Ana calls out from the shower.

"Just planning this kid free weekend, before we're stuck with family for two weeks," I lie. "Are you willing TPE?"

"Sure, it's been a while. Christian, you know you can talk to me."

"I know."

"You're slipping, I just don't want you to slip away again."

I strip from my clothes and step in behind her, wrapping my arms around her so I can play with her breasts and tweak her nipples. Her hums of pleasure edge me on as I drop one hand to her clit, gentle with her sensitive nub. Her whole body is putty, shaking and convulsing in my hands.

"Hard and fast," Ana begs," Please God, just fuck me now."

"Bend over and hold on," I smirk.

I stand back, taking myself in my hands, and watch her bend over and spread her legs with her hands agains the wall. As my lady wishes, I plunge into her dripping wet core and it's as if we're in our twenties again when we didn't have kids. Back when I only had to try and control one tumbleweed who just blew with the wind. She unravels under me, pulling my orgasm out with hers.

We're quick to wash up and dress for bed, each checking in on two kids before we crawl in under the sheets. Ana brushes her fingers over my face, delicate and gentle strokes, looking at me as if I am about to vanish from right in front of her.

"We need to talk about Clarke and Noah before they go back to school," She whispers.

"Why? Are they alright?"

"They're fine, but Clarke did get that role and they start filming while school is in session. They have a tutor for homeschool but I am wondering if we just pull her out at the start of the term so she doesn't have to say goodbye. Noah, he's just in his moody phase and I think you should have a trip with just you two."

"I regret letting her audition, she's just a little girl," I groan.

For some reason last month Ana and I agreed to let Clarke audition with her friends for a film that will be shooting in Seattle come March, she is one of he leads and just opens up another opportunity for paparazzi to bombard her and not to mention the security risks. However, Ana kept telling me that it was what she wanted to do and may be the career field she delves into. Hollywood is not an industry that is stable and that I want any of my kids working in. At least Blake is at Georgetown for Political Science and Business, that boy has a head on his shoulders.

"I'm excited for her. She got the script this week and she has been reading it over and over, non-stop."

"I don't want her to feel uncomfortable," I sigh.

"Well, as long as we support her, Christian everyone and everything will be okay. Stop using your stupid head so much."

"I would like to believe that you fell in love with this stupid head," I smirk.

"It's just a face," She giggles. "Night, Mr. Grey."

"Goodnight Mrs. Grey."


	5. Chapter 5

APOV

Ava is taking Eden in her Audi Q7; Blake is driving himself, Jonah and Noah in the Cadillac SUV; and Spencer is with Clarke in my R8, and they left nearly nine hours ago. There is so much going to be happening and changing this coming year, but this stupid work routine is not needed anymore. I don't need to work, Christian wishes I wouldn't, and maybe that means I just won't come back in the new year or I will just work on my own terms with manuscripts that I want to. That way if life gets dull I will still have something to do.

"Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey asked me to drive you to Escala," Porter, my current CPO, states from the door way. "Are you about ready to leave?"

"Sure, just let me gather things for the holiday," I smile.

I grab ten manuscripts, even if I don't get to them all I will have something to do in the leisure time that I am hopeful to have. The car ride is short and I ride up in the elevator alone. Christian is waiting for me in the dining room with pizza and wine.

"How did you beat me here?" I ask.

"I left work around noon, I needed to get things for this weekend," He smiles.

"Okay, have you heard from the kids?"

"They stopped in Portland for lunch, then decided on the scenic route so I expect them to arrive in two hours or so."

"And the paparazzi?"

"They know they're heading out of town, they're just unsure as to where."

We eat in comfortable silence, Sinatra croons out his hits in the background. It does not seem as though Christian is into rough tonight, more in a romance mood. I'm fine by all of it, it's just great to have one-on-one time with each other. No staff, no children, no reasons for this weekend to end.

"Ready?" He asks once we're finished.

"Sure," I blush.

We both walk up to the playroom hand in hand, the door already unlocked so we have no need to stall with the stupid key. On the bed there are red and green ropes and white ribbons, wrapped up in little bundles. This is new, I thought we ran out of new years ago.

Christian goes to change into his jeans while I strip and kneel, it's getting harder with age and all I want is some sort of friction. Christian whistles for me to join him on the bed and I do, sitting at the end and wait for his next move.

"I am going to tie you up, and we're going to do some shibari tonight, Mrs. Grey."

"Yes Sir," I smirk.

"Just relax."

I settle into my seat, only moving when he instructs me to, while he binds my body in the rope and ribbon. He purposefully brushes his fingers over my folds, only for them to disappear moments later.

Out of a horror movie, the door starts rattling and someone is banging on the other side. None of our security would handle situations like this, and our kids are out of town.

"Steele, get your ass out here!" Kate wails. "It's an emergency and if you're not out in thirty seconds I will come in and I don't care what I see!"

Christian's masterful work is quickly snipped away with scissors before he tosses me my robe and I run out the door, Kate's outside with red, puffy eyes and active tears.

"What the fuck?" I breathe.

"You both need to see the news," She frowns.

I follow her down to the TV room, Christian not far behind. Elliot, Grace and Carrick are all sat on the couch with their eyes glued to the screen. It's a helicopter hovering over an accident on some piece of dark highway.

"Reports say that only two cars are involved, one belonging to Anastasia Grey; however, it is believed that the two Grey daughters were the ones in the vehicle at the time of the crash. It is believed that the other car was responsible for the accident, belonging to a Robert Higgins a known photographer who works in the realm of celebrity free lance. As of yet, there are no details on injuries. We will inform you what is happening when we know. This is Jessica Lee for KOMO News, in Chopper 1," Her peppy voice waves from the speakers.

Christian is gone, out of the room before I can say anything. Where the hell is our security and why aren't they the ones informing us of this. Kate's talking to me, I think, she is looking at me and her mouth is moving but I can't take my eyes off of the screen that shows mangled pieces of metal, broken road barriers and tire marks heading towards the ocean. Kate's pulling me out of the room, to the master suite, where she takes off my robe and helps me dress in some of my workout leggings and a sweatshirt. I twist my hair into a bun atop my head and sit on the bed. I think I'm crying, but I can't tell. I can't feel anything but this overwhelming numbness, this gaping hole ripping through my chest.

"Charlie Tango V is ready, the girls are being flown to Portland and I'm sending the security to get the other kids. I've also been on the phone with our lawyers, that fucker will never see outside of his cell once he is cleared by doctors," Christian says, breaking me from my trance. "We have rooms booked and everyone will be there, Ana we just need to go up to the helicopter and down. Okay?"

"How are my babies, Christian?" I croak.

"They won't tell me over the phone," He frowns.

"How are you so together?"

"I'm just trying to stay in control."

I nod, and with Kate's help he manages to get me up onto the room. He is sat up with the pilot while I'm between Kate and Grace. We have three security back here with us, Elliot and Carrick are driving down with more security. It's supposed to be Christmas next week, and somehow Clarke still is innocent and believes in Santa. We can't lose this, lose them.

"They're going to be okay," Grace coos.

"You don't know that," I cry.

"We have to believe it."

Christian is right to worry, and maybe it is my fault with pushing him to trust the world. The kids should have flown down, they should not have been allowed to drive by themselves. But I have driven that with my kids in the car, nothing like that has ever happened. I have been a passenger to Spencer, she is one of the best drivers I have ever been a passenger to. This isn't on her, on Clarke, on anyone but me for believing in the good. I should have let Christian go all bossy pants over everything. I've never felt this way before.

Our hired drivers are waiting at the airport to drive us to Dorenbecher Children's Hospital, one of the connected units to OHSU. I just want to be with my kids, I want someone who has seen them to tell me that they are going to be alright. I need for everything to be alright.

"Mr. and Mrs. Grey?" A nurse looks at us, pained.

"Yes," Christian speaks up, I can't.

"I can take you back to see Spencer, but we need you to sign papers for the emergency surgery we need to perform on Clarke."

"Can we see her first?" I plead.

"Follow me on the way to Spencer and I can ask the Doctor in charge."

We walk back to more private rooms, Spencer is strapped down, her hair is wet, and she is struggling against everything. We rush to her left side, Christian by her head while I take her hand. Her tears start and it rips me to pieces.

"I didn't know what to do," Spencer cries. "He came out of no where and with the darkness, the flashes were so hard to deal with and then he swerved at us. I had Clarke call Taylor, I was so scared. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean this."

"Hush now, baby, we know you. You're an amazing driver. I doubt I could have done any better in that situation," I coo.

"But Clarke, she was so scared. I tried, mama. I promise."

"I know, and they're taking care of her. You need to relax, let them take care of you too. You're dad and I are here now, along with Aunt Kate and Grandma Grace."

Spencer settles and the nurses and doctors can start to really asses her. The nurse that called us back tells us that one of us can go and see Clarke before surgery, I leave Christian with Spencer knowing that it must be hard seeing her in the hospital again.

I am up in pre-op, Clarke is so tiny in the bed they have her in and she's hooked up to many different things that blink and beep. I've been warned not to jostle her so I take her hand and stroke some strands of hair out of her face.

"Mommy," She mumbles.

"I'm here baby."

"I can't feel it but it hurts," She starts to cry and whimper.

"Can't feel what?"

"My feet."


	6. Chapter 6

CPOV

They're picking little pieces of glass and stitching my daughter up because of some fucked up photographer who risked my kids lives for some stupid picture. I want to rip that guy limb from limb and it still will not be enough. This was the last straw, Spencer is not going to college in California, she is never getting a car of her own, and I don't care what anyone else fucking says. This was always bound to fucking happen and it should never have, if only my own fucking family listened to me.

"Dad? Are you okay?" Spencer croaks.

"Fine, I just wish this didn't fucking happen!" I snap.

"It wasn't my fault, I'm sorry. Why aren't you with Clarke?"

"Your mother is with her."

"But she was way worse off than me, she needs you both. I don't need you, Clarke does. She is just a baby and she is scared. I'm calmed down, and the pain meds have fully kicked in. Go. I'll be okay."

"You're just a baby, Spencer. You are not an adult or as strong as you think. I am not going anywhere unless it is to get you something."

The wave of emotions that grace her face are not recognizable, but she settles on a look of hurt and disdain and does her best to not look at me.

"Can you find out what happened to my locket? The one that you gave me after the shooting. I don't know if the nurses have it or it was left at the crash," She mutters.

"Of course, I will go and talk to security and have them contact the people at the crash site. I'll be back in a minute."

"A minute too soon," I hear her say to herself.

I step out into the hall and head back to the waiting room where Kate and my Mom wait patiently for news from us. I give them a quick run down on what is happening with Spencer and tell them that they have to wait for Anastasia to be filled in on Clarke. I talk to a worn out looking Taylor about the missing locket, and I know it is not just on some shelf at the house because Spencer has never taken that off since she got it.

"How are they?" Mom asks.

"Spencer's wounds are mostly superficial, however they're going to do x-rays and a CT just to be sure nothing else is wrong," I answer, but Mom and Kate still look at me. "What?"

"And Clarke?"

"I don't know, you'll have to ask Anastasia."

I turn back to my phone to get the ball rolling for Spencer and to get involved in her school so that UCLA will retract her offer of admission. I don't care if she is going to be pissed, that girl will learn that I know what's best for her and that she has no choice until she is eighteen, which is not until next November and that is a year away. I can control that child for another year, and that is what is best for her. Now all I need to do is control Anastasia and things will get back to normal. It's all just too much to deal with, if she can't see that she has another thing coming to her. We'll still go to Florida like planned, that way everyone can still have fun and see Mia and her family, and the girls can heal in the sun. Everything will go to plan, nothing will divert from this plan.

"Christian?" Ana's broken voice drags me from my thoughts.

She looks so broken, more so than Spencer looks. We've gone through surgeries with the kids before, and we know that they were in incredible health before the accident so that means that Clarke will be fine.

"Did you sign off on the surgery?" I ask.

"Yeah, and I'm going to give blood for her in a couple minutes and when Blake gets here I am going to ask him to, too," She sighs.

"Okay, why does she need that much blood?"

Her face morphs from anguish to pure horror, a little gasp breaking through her lips. I glance at Kate and Mom who do not look very happy with me either.

"You didn't ask any doctor or nurse about how your youngest child is? About injuries or prognosis or anything?" Anastasia growls.

"I figured if it were bad enough someone would have told me," I shrug.

"Stay away from my children, do not go near any of them," She shrieks.

"Hey! They're my children two!" I shout.

"No Christian, they're not, because I have no idea who you are right now. I'm talking to security and doctors, you're not allowed near Spencer or Clarke until I say."

"You can't do that."

"Try and stop me, if I tell your father I am sure I can get a TRO against you. Do you realize that you have kids after Spencer because you do, two of them to be exact. You have a fifteen year old son and a nine year old daughter, both who pine for your attention but your range of kids stops after Spencer."

"You cannot speak this way with me."

I don't know what to do. She can't she just can't stop me from seeing my kids, and of course I know I have four kids. I pay for everything that they do. I am aware of every move they make and if they eat dinner or not. What they hell is she going on about.

"Ana, honey, how long will Clarke's surgery be?" Mom asks.

"I don't know, they have to do some spinal decompression and reconstruction, but they have to monitor the bleeding in her brain and they're monitoring her liver and spleen."

Wait, she broke her back and she is severe in other areas too. What fool decided this information should be kept from me? Oh yeah, me. I'm the fucking idiot who didn't even think to ask about my own fucking kid to see what was happening. What about Mia and Florida, it has been years since I have seen my sister.

"When did she go in?" Kate asks.

"Just now, I wanted to see if my boys were here. The doctors offered me an on-call room to make my base until they move Spence to her room and still be close if Clarke needs me. She was so scared Kate and there was nothing I could say to make it better for her," Ana cries, seeking comfort from my Mom and Kate. "I wish you were with me."

"Come on, Mighty Mouse will be fine. I bet in five years she will be moving around like none of this ever happened," Kate smiles.

"I am going to talk to some students I had that work and teach here now. I want to make sure she has the best, and maybe get some more information for us," Mom smiles, walking over to me. "Christian, come with me. We need to have a lovely talk while we find some colleges. Okay Son?"

"Yes Mother," I pout. Fucking hell, I am in so much trouble.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Sorry for the long break. Taking three summer courses through distance, working full time, and trying to do this. For those review thank you very much. I would love PM's with feedback, suggestions and questions. I always love input.**

 **For the haters. I don't write for people, I write for me and if you don't like what I write then don't read it. We are all allowed to have our own opinions. I don't care, and bad reviews don't bug me because I don't write for fame or glory. I write about life, what I see and hear. What I live and what I feel. Stories are a way to open up eyes and make people think. This may not make anyone think about their actions but I know families where the kids have so much pressure that they crumble, where one thing happens to the older kids and it effects everyone. To be the only creative one, the sporty one, the one with something to say. I will never stop writing, I write because I love to. I write to say something, to process the news and the conversations that bombarded me on a daily basis.**

 **Thank you for your support, sorry for the rant. Private Message... Review... Enjoy...**

 **Most importantly, notice the world around you all.**

 **-Mouse**

* * *

APOV

"A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain, softly blows o'er Lullaby Bay. It Fills the sails of boats that are waiting,waiting to sail your worries away. It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain, and your boat waits down by the quay. The winds of night so softly are sighing

Soon they will fly your troubles to the sea. So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain, wave good...bye to cares of the day; and watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain, sail far away from Lullaby Bay," I sing for the fifth time to Clarke but she is not settling tonight.

We have yet to actually celebrate Christmas, I have been here and haven't left while Christian has been banished to the waiting room at the end of the hall until I see fit. The whole family was on my side, and I expected it. No one should condone the behaviour that Christian has shown towards myself and our kids. He just needs to realize what he has to lose before he can even think about fighting for us.

Originally I would have been on our way to Florida today, but that is far from happening and I don't know or care how Christian has dealt with it. He created half of the mess we are in right now, and he needs his big boy pants right now. I don't care how lost he is right now.

"Mom, can I do something?" Noah asks.

"Go find a nurse for me baby, and see if Spencer needs anything," I smile.

He walks out of the room, and I sit on the bed with my poor baby. Spencer spends her days in here with us, there is a day bed built into the window where she lounges when she doesn't want to be in her wheelchair. It's funny how none of them have bothered to ask why their father and I are not talking.

"Can I try?" Spencer asks from the door.

"Honey, you should be asleep or at least resting," I sigh.

"Please, mom?"

I nod her over, Blake wheeling her into the room to sit next to the bed.

"Hey Blue," Spencer coos, she takes a big breath before singing. "One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fires were burning, down the track came a hobo hiking, and he said, "Boys, I'm not turning. I'm headed for a land that's far away, besides the crystal fountains. So come with me, we'll go and see The Big Rock Candy Mountains" In the Big Rock Candy Mountains, there's a land that's fair and bright."

"What can I do for you all?" Dr. Skylar asks.

"Is there anything we can do for Clarke's pain and discomfort?" I ask.

"I can give her something, and Spencer, should you not be in bed. It's getting late."

"I know, but I want to make sure Clarke is alright before I am," Spencer admits.

"And as admirable as that is, you are still healing Spencer and I am not discharging you till Friday at the earliest. Meanwhile, things will get easier for Clarke and by this time next week I am starting her physiotherapies. It'll be time and with all this support Clarke will be okay. She will be back to how she was before all this happened," Dr. Skylar assures.

She takes Spencer back to her room and comes back with a pain medication that is administered through the IV that runs into my baby's arm. Almost immediately she starts to calm and settle into sleep. I'm quickly left alone with Clarke and sit back on her bed.

"Stay awake, don't rest your head. Don't lie down upon your bed. While the moon drifts in the skies; stay awake, don't close your eyes. Though the world is fast asleep, though your pillow's soft and deep. You're not sleepy as you seem; stay awake, don't nod and dream. Stay awake, don't nod and dream," I hum until she is out cold.

Grace showed up some time to take the boys back to the house I bought that is large enough, secure enough and close enough for family to stay at for as long as we need to be here. It will be a while, this hospital has an amazing reputation which will allow Clarke to get strong and regain mobility again. I know that this child will walk again, she is comprised of mine and Christian's gene pool which means she is resilient and stubborn as fuck.

Sure she is out for the count I go over to Spencer's room, she is sat in bed with her nose stuck in one of her text books. She apparently needs to get ahead in her classes before she starts them in a week and a half.

"You're supposed to be resting," I sigh.

"I am, I'm reading," She rolls her eyes.

"You know your father hates when you do that."

"I know, and you do know that you should forgive him and let him see us. Right?"

"What he did Spence, what he did is hard to forgive."

"Well, what did he do?"

I look at her, her big blue eyes gazing into soul. God, she has my eyes but she is all Christian. She reaches not me and just effects me, I never want to lie to my kids but I don't want them to look at their father how I see him now. If Spence knows, maybe she can help me work her dad down to see his wrongs.

"The night of the crash only one of us could go and see Clarke before she went into surgery, so I went; however when I saw your father after he hadn't even inquired about her condition. He was more worried about your missing locket, which he is still looking for."

"I know he ignores Noah and Clarke more than Blake and myself, I'm not blind and I know it's kind of my fault from the shooting. I get you're mad mom, I would be too."

"I feel a but coming," I smile.

"But," She giggles. "But, we all know that dad has lady lion syndrome. He has to provide and protect and can't let anyone slip away from him. He holds everything and everyone too close, and he's scared. Grandma says you call him Peter Pan."

"Lost boy, he's my lost boy."

"Yeah, well… I get he went through shit and all but he needs to see things from our side to. He gives us a lot and it helps us and provides, but there is more to life than that. He offers us the world but doesn't let us go into it."

"You get him," I love this kid.

"I do, but I do think that we need to set up an intervention. Let him know how we feel, get him help for the lady lion thing. Give Noah and Clarke a chance to say something."

"I couldn't agree more, now about the locket…" I wait for her to cave.

"I gave it to Clarke," She looks at her hands. "I know dad got it for me cause I almost died and it was expensive and vintage but I knew he wouldn't do the same for Clarke. Please don't tell him. I will when I am ready but Clarke knows to keep it hidden and it's not like we're seeing him any time soon. She needed something to keep strong and to fight for."

"You're too smart and observant for you own good," I tease.

"I know, but I'm a Grey."

"That you are, so do you think I should let your father see you guys?"

"I think you should make him beg and film it, YouTube blackmail. I can see it now ' _GEH CEO Christian Grey; Grovelling at OHSU Dorenbecher_ ', it will have over ten million views and will be trending for years."

"You're not hanging with Elliot or FaceTiming Mia anymore," I laugh.

"Actually, Kate was the one who gave me that idea"

"Evil."

"You love all of us."

I love everyone, equally without barriers. All of my kids deserve the same care and love no matter what each of them have been through. We can't control the world or all the people in it. We can't control the weather, but we can do whatever it takes to help get over the people who hurt and the weather that rips up the ground. I tuck my daughter in and walk out of the room when I know she is alright.

Spencer, six years old and overly observant and too much like me. The department head that ran all of Christian's communication technology, cell phones and what not that now challenge Apple, Blackberry and Samsung. He was a good man, but his wife died after battling cancer for years and the guy snapped. Came to work that fateful Tuesday with two suitcases of weapons, half of it was stolen. He had killed his two kids before going to the office and he killed nearly one hundred people. Spencer, she is me and ran out to try and help her dad when Christian was trying to talk him down, he shot her in the shoulder and again by her heart but it was enough time for Taylor to come in and tackle him. The guy's on death row, execution is in three months on the anniversary of that day.

Blake, seventh grade trip to Chile. There was some weird revolution or protests happening down there, but the school was a little late trying to fly them back up. Their teachers were killed but with the school and GEH working together we paid the ransoms so no one else would be injured and gave them one of the jets. Blake was like his dad, punched one of the guys pretty bad and for that he lost his hearing for a few years in his left ear. Surgeries and therapies have him back up to how he was before. Now he wants to be in politics and all that, help out more in the world.

Three years ago, Noah went to Missouri for battle of the bands. The national competition and he was representing Washington State and their school, his whole music class was down there when the town they were in was hit with a Class Five tornado and it took two weeks to dig them out of the sub-basement that held two hundred people, and while there were many casualties and they were dehydrated and starving by the time they were found everything was okay. Christian invested in multiple weather phenomenon industries and Noah wants to be a meteorologist and a storm chaser.

Last year Blake decided to go to Thailand with friends, they were assaulted, robbed and could have died because Blake looked or said something wrong to someone. The stories were turned upside down and somehow they were charged with raping a girl, someone they never had seen before. It took us two months to get him out and the charges dropped. DNA proved that it was the same assholes that had nearly killed him. He challenged all of his courses when he got back and still passed. It has only made him fight harder for the poor countries in support of their citizens. He has used his ridiculously high allowance to rebuild prisons and school in Chile and Thailand.

Clarke, my baby who was one of the biggest surprises we had. She has witnessed so many bad things and I know that she takes it all in. She has let everything that's been wrong in the world and transferred it into these incredible talents that are natural to her. Music, dance, art, acting; she is this creative genius that never deserved bad things to happen to her. She writes these songs that are so advanced on topic matter, drawn these pictures that make me cry from how real they are, and when she dances it is as if she is floating. When she asked about acting I knew that the only reason she was asking was because the topic would change the world. It's what she always answers with. You ask her why she drew that or wrote this and she says the same thing: "If we want the world to change then people need to see and hear the wrongs, but no one cares about the news. They care about movies and music and cool things. You and daddy change the world and it's my turn now." God, that kid is going to rule the world one day. I will not be surprised if Clarke becomes President one day, or changes something before she graduates.

My four kids: Blake, the international guardian; Spencer, the stubborn genius; Noah, the musical scientist; and Clarke, my creative eye opener. All have now suffered pain and hurt, faced the possibility of death or losing themselves. Now, they don't deserve more.

I don't know how I got here but I'm standing outside the hospital's chapel. In the front pew is Christian, his head is bowed. I've never really seen him in church. We only go on Christmas, easter and for other special occasions. I sit down in the back pew, waiting for him to say something or notice me.

"I know you're there, Anastasia. The electricity is still there," His voice cracks.

"I feel it too," I admit.

"Can I see my kids yet?"

"Spencer thinks I should make you beg and put it on YouTube."

"Elliot?"

"No, Kate."

"I love them all, but Clarke and Spencer are near identical. Clarke almost killed you when you gave birth, and then it was like I was going to fuck up with her too. Get her shot by something I did."

"You can't do that, think that. She did not cause my uterus to explode on purpose, we knew that after three c-sections that there was a risk of something happening. My uterus was weak, and I should have booked one in before it got that bad."

"I know that, see that now." He raises his head, he still hasn't turned to look at me. "I have talked to Flynn for three everyday since we've been down here. We've talked about all of it and I am changing."

"I know you'll do your best, Spencer thinks that we should do some sessions as a whole family. That way everyone can talk about everything."

"Flynn suggested the same thing, he also said that I need to let her go to whatever school she wants. I am to let them be what they want, and if that means she goes to UCLA with that death trap of a car then so be it. If Clarke wants to be an actress then she can. Hell, if Noah decided to be some heavy metal rocker who lived in our basement I wouldn't care. They need futures that they can be happy about."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry, about everything. I just couldn't see Clarke in that bed. She is already so small, so young. If I knew how bad it was right off the bat I think I would have cracked. I haven't been able to protect any of them properly."

"You do, but you can't control the world."

"I want to see my kids," He looks at me, tears in his eyes.

"Well, it's nearly one a.m., how about we arrange breakfast for all of us."

"Okay." He frowns. "I can't find the locket I gave Spencer. No one can, it's probably at the bottom of the ocean."

"I think that you just need to see what happens. Go get sleep, you look like death."

"I love you, and you know how hard it is to sleep without you."

"I need to be here, and I love you Christian. I always have loved you but you have pissed me off. You just needed to learn."

"I know."

I race out before he can touch me, make me race back to the hotel he's at instead of staying with Clarke.


	8. Chapter 8

CPOV

She still left, we were talking and working things out and she still left. She loves me enough to leave me, loves the kids enough to protect them from me. Fuck, I thought that I had this all worked out. It's like my head is on straight when I explain things to Flynn but I get in front of family and I am fucked over. Things don't work because I need to control and protect them, even though Flynn says it's actually me allowing fear to control me. Fuck that shit, fuck all of this shit. At least none of my kids are fucked up, they don't take after me that way.

The last time I freely went to the chapel, I don't even remember. I never pay attention when we go to the services with the family. Anyway, I guess it's time to leave God's hallowed hall. The jet should be landing in forty minutes and it will take me near that time to get over there. This will be good, it's not Florida but at least we will all be together at least for a short while.

I pull up just in time for Mia's grand entrance, she looks so different blonde and tan. She's the first out of the jet, running and nearly tackling me to the ground while she is still in uniform. Luke is right behind her in his uniform and they're followed by two very tired looking kids. Holy shit, I didn't realize how much they had grown since their last.

"How is everyone?" Mia asks.

"As good as everyone can be, no one knows that you all are here."

"I'm so sorry about everything, Christian. I've heard that you're at a hotel while everyone else is together."

"She doesn't want me, not with her or around the kids."

"She just wants you to start adulting, like everyone else in the family. You can't keep a crutch your whole life. Even I'm out facing the world, Big Brother."

"I can't stop my own head."

"You do know they have pills for that."

"You haven't changed," I laugh.

"I have Christian," She frowns. "I change every day so I can be good for myself and my family. You just need to learn that sometimes you need to let go, grow and change to benefit everyone in your life, including yourself."

"I'm damaged."

"Incredibly so."

"And I am the one to change, what about everyone else?"

She shakes her head and gets in the passenger seat while Luke and the kids get in the back. We're barely driving when the three in the back all fall asleep, this time change is not going to be fun for them. Mia puts on a classical music station, modifying the speakers to play in the back and not by us.

"Christian," She sighs. "Everyone has always tried to change to accommodate you. Ana changed everything she stood for and became your wife a couple months after meeting. That was for you. Your kids modify their lives to protect you so that you can shelter them. Mom and dad changed their rules for you, Elliot and I change when we're around you. The only person you've ever changed for is Elena, and you stayed the way she changed you and she changed you for the worst. No one can help you but you."

"Everyone has been saying that lately," I groan.

"Because it's true. You have a heart. Money can't buy happiness and safety. You have more friends then you think. And yes, you are smart in business but are one of the stupidest people I know."

My phone starts to ring in the cupholder, it's a rental so my hands free is not set up. I want to, need to answer it if something is wrong with the kids but if I answer the phone Mia will kill me. I look at Mia who shrugs and grabs it.

"Christian, grumpy, Grey's phone. How may I help you," She laughs, then waits. "Who are you?… You'll see… He will arrive in less than fifteen minutes… He's driving… From a location that is confidential… I am the best person in the world… Ewe, gross, that will never happen… I'll see you soon, just make sure you're sitting… No… Bye!" She hangs up and looks at me. "Go to the hospital. They need you there, and does my voice sound different then normal?"

"Okay, why?"

"Ana couldn't tell it was me!"

Ana called to tell me she needs me at the hospital. Ana needs me! Holy shit, this has been such a crazy fucking day. Ana called me, wants me there, and Mia may have just made her think I am cheating on her but that will all be fixed when we get there. Ana and maybe my daughters need me, me. Me their father. I am needed. I need to change. Fuck, maybe I do need to be medicated as much as I am agains that it may do them good.

We leave the car with Luke who will go to the hotel with their kids and come back in the morning to surprise everyone else. Mia is practically bouncing in the elevator as we rise up though the floors. We're barely off and I can hear Clarke crying and screaming.

"No! No! I don't want you! I want Daddy!" She shrieks, choking on spit.

"He'll be here soon, Baby. You just need to calm down so you don't hurt yourself more. Please baby," Ana is begging our inconsolable daughter.

Mia is on my heels as we race down the hall. Nurses are trying to hold Clarke down as she thrashes, Spencer is on the daybed and Ana is up by our daughters head trying to make her relax. Spencer is the first to spot Mia, and as much as she wants to run at her Aunt she knows better when she's connect to her IV. Clarke spots me and starts to reach for me so I go by her bed, across from Ana.

"Hush now," I coo. "It's okay, I'm here now, C. I'm here. I'm here for you."

"It hurts," She wails.

I look up at Ana, her expression is grim, and her eyes motion for me to look down at her stomach. She's torn open some stitches on her abdomen and there is a decent amount of blood. Is this my fault? She wanted me here bad enough that she thrashed enough to do this to herself.

Ana finally noticed Mia, now sitting next to Spencer and I think I just put my wife into shock. She is frozen, grasping Clarke's hand tight. Ana looks from Mia to me to Clarke and back again, it's rather entertaining. I don't know what to do in this situation.

The nurses and doctors start to re-stitch up Clarke, her blue eyes never leaving me to notice Mia or anything that is happening. They're using an local anesthetic so I bet she feels an awkward tugging at most.

"Daddy? Do you hate me?" Clarke's tears that were ending are starting up again.

"No, I could never hate you. I love you so much it hurts me."

"I hurt you?"

"No, never."

"Then why don't you visit me?"

This catches Mia's and Ana's attention. Spencer rolls her eyes then lays down on the bed, her head on Mia's lap for some comfort.

"I am trying to make sure that the man responsible for your accident is getting punished right. He needs to be in prison and I have to make sure of that," I answer.

"But what about me and Spencer?"

"I'm trying to protect you both."

"Well stop it. I want you here. You got it?"

"I got it. I love you and your sister very much, never forget that."

"Okay. Now sing Daddy."

"Sing?"

"Yes."

"What would you like?"

"Anything."

I nod at her, starting into _Do You Hear The People Sing_ from Les Miserables, making sure that Ana, Mia and Spencer join in with me. It turns into a Les Mes sing along with us and some of the nurses. The monitors prove that the songs are calming her down, almost lolling her to sleep. Once she's out Ana tackles Mia into the wall, holding onto her tight until they both start to crack up over the phone call they had earlier, and then they start to plot how to surprise the rest of the family. Spencer is asleep, Clarke is asleep and I am clinging tight to her hand.

"Ana, do you have anything I can change into? I'd really like to change out of uniform into something more casual," Mia asks.

"Yeah, come with me."

The leave me alone with the girls, letting me watch over them. Spencer doesn't move in her sleep, dead to the world just like her mother. I am quite sorry for the nurses here if they have to wake any of my kids or my wife up, none of them wake up happy, but we got through today and we'll just have to make it through tomorrow and every day after that.

"Luke and I are thinking of coming back here," I hear Mia tell Ana. "We have been offered jobs at the base here in Seattle where we'd be promoted. I haven't told anyone but we may not have to go back at all."

"That's amazing, why haven't you told Christian?"

"Luke and I haven't talked to the kids about it, and with everything happening I didn't know how to. He's in a very dark place right now Ana."

"I know, everyone has noticed, even the kids. He'll get there though, I know he will."

"He's withdrawn, almost like how he was when he was in contact with Elena."

"But he's not in contact with her."

"And you're sure of that?"

"Taylor knows to tell me if he suspects it and to investigate immediately."

Ana and Taylor are that worried? It's been decades since I've seen her, since she even attempted anything to test me or Ana within our relationship. She won't, I wouldn't. I'm nothing like how they're assuming.

"Dad?" Spencer whispers.

"Yeah Spence?"

"I don't want the car anymore, and you can stop looking for the locket. I don't care about any of that. You can send security with me to school, they can drive me everywhere and report to you on my every move."

"You want that?"

"Yeah. Goodnight Dad."

"Night."

She rolls over, back to sleep and dreams. Clarke starts to move about in her sleep, mostly upper body and then her feet start to move and kick. I don't know what to do here or if I should stop her. I don't want to, I like seeing her legs move and knowing that she has not lost the ability to walk like the Doctors said could happen.


End file.
